I keep a list.
It’s a list of people I’ve cared about, people I’ve taken care of, people I’ve loved. Some of the people on the list are people I’ve watched grow up. Some of them are people who watched me grow up.
Besides being on my list, the only thing that they all have in common is that they’ve passed on from this world. They’re taking their next great journey.
I keep a list because I need to remember. I need to honor their memories. I also need to remember that they are the reason why I’m going through this, the 30-hour shifts, the blistered feet and aching mind, the endless textbooks and journal articles. They are the reason. When I am mindful of their contributions to my life, I remember that my journey to becoming a physician is because of them. Their influence on my life, I can only hope, will make me a better doctor someday.
I added another name to the list tonight. A 20-year old boy that I’ve had the honor and blessing of knowing for the past nine years, who fought cancer and survived, who always had a winning attitude and a great sense of humor. He will be missed by all who knew him, but not forgotten.
